A critique of “Where Have All the Good Men Gone” by Kay M. Hymowitz:
Dear MS. Kay M. Hymowitz,
In response to the Wall Street Journal article of February 2011, The Good Men are avoiding you like the plague and the only men willing to court the feminist black widows are the men willing to risk being served up as a life ending midnight knosh. Ironically, the vast majority of women who destroy the fathers of their children end up as prey to the legal system and to their own offspring who suck the life from their own mother through the children’s life long bitterness, addictions, prostitution, violence, and worse. One only has to research the prognosis of single mother children for addictions, prostitution, imprisonment, etc… What man wants to have children he will not be able to raise or see while they are growing up? What man wants to have children who are ten times more likely to prostitutes, drug addicts or sex offenders? And you wonder why men are walking away?
This tragedy of single mother raised children happens at all economic levels. The very wealthy gold-digger’s children have the same tragic prognosis as the ghetto welfare mother’s children. The futures of the children of both are statistically very very bleak with the least of problems being serial relationships and marriages.
Kay Hymowitz is getting close for a feminist, but she still doesn’t get it. She keeps laying the blame on the men even when she admits her sister feminists are beating up the men. MS. Hymowitz seems to think her power mad sister feminists are equals to men in so many arenas. She should research more carefully the entitlements of job preferences, education preferences, famliy law preferences, etc…, at the expense of taxpayer’s and individual men’s wallets is an acceptable proposition. She can’t even get the foundation of her argument quite right. Women are not equal, they are propped up by massive infusions of governmental cash and quotas that must be met or subject employers, schools, professions to civil and criminal persecutions. And, after the fun wears off the elitist women who have destroyed so many resources for their empty image of professionalism just pack up and go home. Over half of them are back at home in under 12 years. What is the cost to industry, tax payors, and the men’s incomes that these entitled women wasted, spent and destroyed.
In reference to Kay’s rather shallow and superficial approach to her work titled “Where Have All The Good Men Gone?” and “Manning Up.” Has she stopped to look, critically, within when it comes to the men in her life?
If I were to have a discussion with Kay on this topic, my points would go something like this:
You believe manning up is paying for some slick tramps bills for the rest of her life while he is lucky to get spam on Fridays, instead of his daily Ramen Noodles. Is the feminist vagina so golden and his penis so dirty as to justify a man’s life-time enslavement to a once upon a time lover or ex-wife? Why don’t you start telling your sisters to ‘WOMAN UP’ and be responsible for their own lives and bad decisions.
How can you, as a feminist, hope for anything but an emotionally armed truce for mutual transient needs when you are so hyper-critical of men and continuing to demand the many things that women want from men?
If the courts and legislature mandated a woman provide for a man’s needs for life once she divorces or once she sleeps with him, how crazy would that sound to the feminists of Kay S. Hymowitz circles? How loud would you and your puerile femi-sisters scream? Yet they demand the courts and government provide that very enslavement of men to the entitled feminist. Kay S. you are intellectually dishonest.
Misandry, as with misogyny is a form of self-loathing. And, you reek of self-loathing in your attacks on the wisdom of men avoiding predatory, ungrateful, and faithless women. You make men even more cautious around the large numbers of decent women who are still out there. But, yet, we are boys for not charging, lemming like, over the cliffs of matrimony in to the unforgiving cold sea below or to be like male paramours of black widow spiders who become the after sex snack of a cold and uncaring mate who will herself be fed upon by her brood. You, Kay Hymowitz, are emotionally dishonest.
You envy what the decent women have, a caring supportive and financially supporting man who loves the woman and the children he gives her. But you want it without the entanglement of actually getting to know or respect a man. You espouse wanting to take the man’s children, money, home, respect, family, and anything else you can steal and pry from his still live fingers and then wonder why men avoid you and your feminist sisters with whom you surround yourself? You are dishonest and misleading to the vast majority of your own gender.
You surround yourself with man-haters, you write man-hate articles and books, and then you want men to worship you and decent men to flock to you for you to pick and chose amongst them for the one who you think will complete you the most?
Are you crazy?
That was not rhetorical. Anyone who has taken their college freshman liberal blinders off will tell you that you don’t attack victims by warning them of your scam ahead of time. You don’t put up traffic signs to inform “This Way to be Hijacked” , or “Roadside Piracy 2 Miles Ahead”. I’m sorry, but you just did put up your roadsigns, didn’t you?
And you say these men are not ‘Manning Up’ because they do not take the Hijack or Piracy exits?
You are crazy to think you deserve the fruits of someone else’s labor without quid pro quo. You are crazy to think the smart and capable will buy into your plan to destroy them, their offspring (look at the prognosis for children raised by your single feminist sisters) and possibly end their life (15,000 men a year commit suicide from loss of family, children, home, etc. in our family courts) just to fund your Narcissistic self-destructive life-styles. And, men have become mere boys for not ‘Manning Up’ eagerly for your sadistic and torturous treatments.
How much arrogance can feminism contain? Are all believing they are each and everyone a Helen of Troy when in statement and deed they are Medeas?
How can you ever be sure the very personal rejection your feminist compatriots sexual charms isn’t just a self-defense reaction from the men you attack? Could it be that your physical sexual attributes that women like to over-value, do not overcome your advertising yourself as a female equivalent of a preying mantis ready to prey upon and feed upon the very father of her children?
How can you not understand the basics of ‘Risk to Reward’ decision making process of men? There are even mathmatical algorithms to minutely quantify this decision making process. Yet you ignore the factor of self preservation.
Why should any man, who is much more emotionally, financially, and psychologically self-contained, risk total and absolute destruction of himself and any children he gives a feminist when he can have a full and fun life without the heartaches and impoverishment feminism brings men, women, and children?
You have written and been published in the context of racial social policy what single motherhood portends for the children and the duped single mothers in the Black ghetto. Your racism shows through when you can not apply the same near objectivity to your white middle-class feminist sisters.
It is not the men who have embraced a culturally new ideology of gender warfare, government whoredom of women with welfare, and enforced system entitlements, but the women who have built a world view based on feminist myth of all men as violent rapists and a demand for a total lack of personal accountability for the feminists’ own life decisions, violence, sex offenses against men and children, etc….
As the ideology of feminism is being rejected more and more by the larger number of women in this country, we see the die-hard feminists begin to moderate their statements of misandry and begin to speak of women as equals to men all things male, but maintain strict boundaries on all things female.
Feminism is the ultimate female movement for dependence and entitlement. It is a movement of slavers.
Feminist policy goals are to make someone else, a man, the government, society, anybody, responsible for their discontent and desired lifestyle level.
To be dependent for life is foremost and premier as the underlying dogma of all feminist effort. This is true, whether a man is supposed to ‘man up’ and provide a woman her every need at her every whim or a government to pay a woman’s way while she looses count of the men’s shoes under her bed as she ‘sucks’ them in and then discards them like yesterday’s banana peel. This demanded dependency is such that no woman is to be held accountable, only some man, even if he is a stranger, is supposed to “Man up”.
Sexual Promiscuity is a process that the feminist recruit has been told will ‘sexually liberate’ her, especially if she experiments with homosexuality. Yet these perverse, risky, and self-destructiveactions leave her with a feeling of degradation and self-loathing she transfers in a defensive reflex into blaming men. Feminist avoid responsibility by blaming men for the feminists’ own bad decisions. Accountability only counts for men.
Feminists are so angry at men because when the feminist demands for ultimate and totally unaccountable female relationship and financial power became too heavy a trade-off, the men walked. Slaves aren’t supposed to be able to walk, so they must be punished and demeaned. Women have been peripheral in men’s lives.
Kay Hymowitz is first and foremost among the more popular pseudo-intellectual who has made a career of demeaning men, accusing men of avoiding women after watching their fathers and grandfathers stripped of home, children, family, and wealth by some faithless woman.
Men have never needed a woman ‘to complete’ them, or we would not have adventurers, sailors, or early world trade caravans. We would still be sitting in the savannah waiting for some predator to come and eat our slower members, the very young, elderly, or pregnant women. As women demand evermore enslavement of men, politically, culturally, socially, legally, emotionally and financially, men, as men in the ghettos have done, walk.
What sane man will build permanent ties with a woman who espouses man-hate, man-abuse, and man-enslavement. Hello? Any one home over there at the feminist encampment?
When feminists become mothers and do not appreciate the gifts men bring, every thing the man does will cause the feminist to be angry no matter how supportive or enriching the man’s acts are towards the feminist.. As with any Narcissistic woman, she will be angry if the children get too much attention, the birthday gift was less than $10,000, not buy her the newest SUV or if he asks her to cut back on her twice a week day spa. The woman retaliates with divorce that forces wage slavery and punitive measures on a man who gave his all for giving his all. This will show him, it will destroy his career, create a tragic prognosis for the children’s adulthoods, and impoverish all. But, by God she showed him how mighty she is. Now, in a divorce, the courts will state that he must provide for the family and his ex as if he were still receiving all of the benefits of his marriage plus pay her attorneys who stole from the family as a whole, plus carry another home, plus pay for ‘visits’ with his own children, plus, plus, plus….. Just this one factor will drive many of the more intelligent and capable single young men away from marriage, commitment, and family.
Yet, we have so many more factors than those listed above to describe where Feminism, not women as a whole, has incentivized men to forego what they would like but do not have to have, a wife and children. Feminist have worked at detracting from the gifts a man brings to a relationship, not as another woman, but as an emotional counter weight to the realities of women’s hormonally driven emotions and to the economic support so that women can have the privilege of the financial, emotional, sexual and cultural security a man brings to a relationship. It is when a woman honors a man for what he provides of himself to her and any children that he gives of himself, completely. I do not hear Kay begin to honor men for what they bring to the table, she can only demean it.
Why should any man honor a woman with a lifelong commitment of support when she demeans him and his gender as well as the many gifts he brings. Feminists are such spoiled little children who have long ago lost all appreciation of others.
Ms Hymowitz, your self-professed feminism is an ideology of Narcissism. Feminists will breed themselves into non-existence (or it would be better stated they will not be bred into the future.) Feminism is an already dying ideology of personal tyranny. How ironic and shallow that feminists call the men who rightfully avoid these feminists, Narcissists.
You should look past the blind inconsistencies of feminism and then you will find what you really want, a partner and a friend who you can trust respect and to whom you are trustworthy and respectful. You will be able to answer your former feminist sisters, “All The Good Men Are Hiding From You.”