Reply to Tom on Feminist Bob

As the discussion raged about the issues of Feminist Bob the suspected feminist plant in a parents’ rights forum, one particular contributor’s comments, Tom, struck a major chord with me.    Tom states:

“Yes, lighten up.  Hardly anyone reads this stuff anyway.


The awareness you raised, with your statement of frustration with the system that has stolen your children and has tried to steal your voice, is an important point.   It is what each and everyone of us go through with regularity.  It is only our mutual support and encouragement that gets us all through those rough times.  We read your words.  We count.  Others read them.

“This stuff” is read by many more than just the ones who respond.  Over the decades of involvement, I have seen the number of activists I could locate on the early internet go from less than 10 to tens of thousand, if not millions on the internet, worldwide.   One article I sent to a little known parents’ rights website was picked up and translated into at least 5 different languages, including Brazilian Portuguese.  Portions of that article are in Dr. Baskerville’s book, “Taken Into Custody”, that has been on best seller lists and is the new primer of the men’s movement for our politicians and policy makers for over two years.   This is not a brag, it is an example of what you to can do when you will just step out into the emptiness on faith and work towards what you know in your heart and mind to be right.

In visiting with Mike McCormick, the lobbyist for ACFC in D.C. he has commented that he has regularly had decision makers discuss topics they admit came from the Parents’ and Fathers’ movements forums and individual activists websites.

In Ann Coulter’s book “Guilty” her chapter on the destruction of single motherhood and the references she used were suspiciously similar and presented in the same sequence as the work done by others and most recently and regularly presented by Paul Clements, one of the contributors on this forum.    That chapter and its data and arguments have been discussed on national TV and even consumed time on “The View” for one full show and multiples of other mentions and partial discussions.

These are only three specific sources of my conviction that all of our cumulative contributions are heard where just one of us is overwhelmed by the noise of the crowd.

On a visit to the Texas legislature a number of years back, I heard several of our elected discuss and agree with specific arguments they have been exposed to on our websites and discussion groups.

“This stuff” over the past few decades has reached out to millions of fathers who had been actively isolated by the courts and the media while trying to continue to be active daddys to their children.

“This stuff” has been told to me by other fathers to have saved their lives from suicide in their darkest hour.

“This stuff” is lasting, if not in our specific words or personal names, but as a movement toward freedom and against an ideology of totalitarianism.

Do not demean your part in contributing.  Each and everyone of you who work at reading, sharing, and maybe contributing, even if only the rare remark, are a major part of the movement to return safety and stability to our children’s lives.

Tom, when you dismiss the positive efforts of even one of us, you diminish your own battles and the efforts of others working as much for your children as for their own.

Please continue to contribute, but, look for the strength and look for the quiet clues as to just how much impact your contribution makes.

No one of us will be the ‘White Knight’ that rides in, takes control, rallies all fathers, and wins the day.  It is going to be the millions of us beginning to understand that individually we are just as spit on a hot sidewalk, disappearing in seconds.   But, as cumulative rain drops in a desert flash flood, we can not be ‘evaporated’ or dismissed so easily.   These forums are the riverbeds where the flood builds.

These forums and groups are to be protected when necessary, and to be nurtured as the tool kits for first survival and then the armory for the political battles we are still fighting.

At election time, you will see the arguments about parties and candidates that help the real activists focus on what needs to be done and push accordingly.   The difference in public attitude over the years from our continuing to educate the public has made enormous strides for fathers and men.

No longer can politicians demean men to automatically win landslide elections.  That same language, the demeaning of men, since 2006, now costs elections.  It is the battle cry of the loser.

Tom, take heart, keep things in perspective, and keep supporting others  in their efforts, large and small.  It is cumulative.



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1 Comment

  1. david bambic

     /  October 5, 2011

    hello ,
    has anyone looked on the title IV fed requirments that the state has to do for non cust. parents like in there states public aid codes and consumer protection fed codes on % taken from pay over 60% and in il how post divorce any issuse of support or medical goes to a diffferent court called the adminisrtive law court in each state there is to be set up if they have title IV funding ?

    i am starting this process that has been and continues to be federally abused by the circuit courts for funding ?

    the funding codes states it in your legislative code how things are setup and to be administered for qualification of continual funding and awareness to the public it is recieving the funding from .

    if you are put into il calls it the state dispursment unit (sdu) you are to be notified and have right not being a poor or indigent person to be in this program for minor fee cheeper than a lawyer .they have fed. regs and rules to follow or they have remedy to loose funding .

    so if you are paying and live in il .over 65%or 60% if you wish to contact me i will try to send info i have on these relavent facts . or face book


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